Please Stop Talking About It

In August of 2017, I was awakened. The state I was in didn’t seem like spiritual slumber, but it absolutely was. For me, God was church on Sundays and maybe helping out a little at church. It was the 10% tithe sent to the church and the subsequent write off.

But, as God started to wake me up to the times, I got to my knees in prayer. I considered my relationship with Him, my eternity, the possibility of a pre-trib rapture, and the rapid acceleration toward utter global entropy.

I’m more of a realist than an optimist. Perhaps this is why I’m not invited to many parties.

God has given me much: Good health, great kids, safety, shelter, nice friends, wonderful neighbors, air conditioning, reliably hot water, sweet family members, an adorable red tractor, Amazon Prime, a comfortable bed with warm blankets, a garden…the list goes on.

But most importantly, He has given me salvation and the promise of eternity with Him.

It’s precisely that gratitude (and perhaps some guilt at not truly participating in the growth of His kingdom) that led me to a life-changing prayer.

“Father, thank you so much for the wake-up call. I would like to help in some way, but I don’t know how. I definitely don’t want to do missions in Africa because I don’t like bugs and I need regular, hot showers. I’m pretty good at studying and parsing information, then presenting it to people who don’t understand. If you like that contribution, could you please open up your word to me? Thank you. Amen.”

I’m now laughing about this because I have a friend who does mission trips to Uganda. I’m pretty sure she stays somewhere with regular, hot showers and no bugs.

God answered my prayer in the most extraordinary way. He opened His word to me and I began passionately studying, reading, researching, and ultimately blogging.

I was on fire for God. I tried reaching out to friends, family, my husband, my kids… I spent hours on my knees at night praying for everything that was wrong in the world, one evening discovering that the smell of incense had permeated my clothing and my hair quite supernaturally, after a prayer during which I asked God to accept my prayers and repentance as incense unto His throne.

Everything changed.

One day, my husband said to me that he wanted “time apart” so he could have “more fun, spend more time in Switzerland, more money, less God, less responsibility.” What he really meant is that on his solo trip there a few weeks prior, he had hooked up with his old girlfriend and was about to bail on his family entirely. What he really meant is that when he asked me to sign a quit-claim deed on our home, he was already planning his exit. What he really meant is that he didn’t like the provision in our Family Trust that made my brother the trustee of the substantial inheritance I would probably receive from my mother in the event of my own death.

For the record, Mom insisted on that provision. I certainly would have been willing to share the money, but unlike any of our marital assets, I would have control over it. I would just have something of my own, to do with as I pleased in exactly the same way my ex spent as he pleased during 19.7 years of marriage.

My ex could not stand that idea; an ugly battle ensued.

He called the police on me twice, once to tell them I let our son drive the family car on our private property, and another time to tell them that he was afraid to come to the house to pick up his belongings because his life was in danger.
Absurd.

He reached out to as many family members as he could to tell them I was crazy, abusive, controlling, manipulative, selfish, and whatever else he could come up with. He did the same with close friends, former pastors, former employers, former co-workers, neighbors – you name it. He bore false witness like it wasn’t a sin.

My world was shaking around me as I felt attacked from all sides. I felt betrayed. I felt alone. And that is exactly the kind of situation that brings out the fight in me. Some crumble, I start swinging.

My approach was simple and I specifically warned him what it would be: Every time he reached out to someone and they told me about it, I’d take to social media and reveal a truth about him that I, the “good wife” had previously hidden. My revelations made people uncomfortable. But at least I stopped talking about God so much, right guys?

The epic war is now over. But there are casualties. If you ever want to test the depth of your relationships, have a prolonged crisis. You’ll be surprised how quickly you hear these things from those you turn to for support. You might hear the following phrases:

•    Just move on and be happy.
•    Don’t air your dirty laundry.
•    Why don’t you just start dating again?
•    I hope you can find some peace.
•    Please, just stop talking about it.

Sorry folks, I now KNOW something that I didn’t know before, and I would gladly look like a loony if it means sharing this information saves someone else the pain. I know the topic makes some of you uncomfortable and you’ll block, avoid, or unfollow to avoid that discomfort.

Some of you react the same way when I talk about God. If it’s the rule “Never discuss religion or politics,” I can’t understand why some of you sure don’t mind ranting about politics so often.

As I dive headfirst into the possibilities that drive people away from the topic of God, hoping to make sense of why this topic is so controversial, here’s a list of reasons that I put together with the assistance of my younger son. Do any of these reasons resonate with you?

•    Religion is deeply personal and nobody’s business but my own.
•    Religion has nothing to do with right and wrong.
•    It’s just going to end in an argument because we don’t believe the same thing.
•    There are many world religions. Every one of them believes they’re right, and they can’t all be right.
•    I’m a good person, and I don’t need an outdated rule book to tell me how to live.
•    I’m afraid I’ll hurt your feelings because I think differently.
•    All paths lead to Heaven/God/a happy and peaceful eternity, so why worry?
•    Religion has always been about control of the population.
•    You religious people believe in fairy tales. I believe in science.
•    You sound like you’re recruiting for a cult.

Fundamentally, each of the above reasons (and maybe your reason, if it’s not on the above list) is that discussing God makes us uncomfortable. But why?

I have a theory.

God, for most of us, is synonymous with religion. Religion contains a defined set of core beliefs that become entwined with our personal identity, giving us a way to determine whether we’re “good” or “bad.” When someone challenges our ideas of who God is, ultimately they’re challenging our own understanding of whether we are a good person, or a bad person. And nobody likes that, right?

I can easily answer the question, “Do you believe you’re American?” I can point to my accent. I can prove to you where I was born, and who my parents are. I can pull up my Ancestry family tree and show you that my earliest ancestors came to this continent in 1625, and participated as Americans in the Revolutionary War. My confidence in my identity means that whatever question you ask about this topic, will be easy to answer. I won’t feel challenged by such a question, and I’ll probably be delighted to bend your ear for as long as you can stand it.

Someone asking me the question, “Do you believe in God?” is equally easy to answer, for me. I can point to significant experiences where He’s proven to me just how real He is. I can point to lines of scripture that foretell Jesus’ coming so that we could be redeemed by, and reconciled to, God. I can share with you Jesus’ genealogy on Earth. I can show you the intricacies of the Hebrew language and the historical records of Jesus.

All of this makes me confident in my response, and pretty ear-bendy.

I know lots of people who feel this way. But I also know lots of people who claim they believe in God, even in Jesus, and will avoid the topic any way they can. Here are some examples of each position:

•    My in-laws were both Lutheran by claim and by baptism. They brought their boys up attending church, but the attendance dwindled to an occasional Christmas or Easter service. Anything more than that, to them, was a cult. My former father in law actually said to me, “I only believe in what I can see with my own eyes.” They never discussed God, outside of their concern about us attending church so often.

•    My ex-husband claimed he came to Christ the same day I did, put off his baptism until I declared I was going to do it. Of course, he decided to get baptized the same day I did. Looking back, I now think it was all because he didn’t want to appear to be less Godly to our godly friends. If I hosted a Bible Study, he usually sat quietly and participated only when specifically called upon. He didn’t discuss God, and never touched a Bible.

•    My family is almost entirely Catholic. We believed that baptism must take place very shortly after birth, or a baby would go to hell. We were taught that if we didn’t get married in a Catholic church, the union didn’t count to God. We went to church every Sunday, but never read the Bible.

•    But my mom was a wonderfully devout woman of God, who discussed God daily, and upon her deathbed said she couldn’t wait to see Jesus. Still quite Catholic, she and I would discuss differing views and the only time she ever got upset was when I challenged her about communion wafers and the change to the 10 commandments brought about by the Catholic Church.

•    I’m pretty sure my remaining brother is a CEO (Christmas and Easter Only) Catholic, but he and his wife put their kids through the Sacraments in order, just as has been done with us as kids. I think they went to a Catholic high school, too. But he has never engaged in a discussion with me about God.

•    My sister, who converted to Baptist, discusses God with me frequently – even with Dementia. She had faith long before I did and bought me a KJV when I was twelve. As long as I can remember, she would praise God – and she had a lot of experiences that would nearly break a person.

•    I was chatting with a family member the other day and in the texting session, the conversation ended abruptly as soon as I mentioned Rapture. He's even had an NDE.

•    Another family member once told me any discussion about politics or religion are an instant end of connection on social media. I suspect many of my family members feel this way and no longer see my posts.

•    A dear friend of mine grew up in the Mormon faith. She felt the Bishop interfered in her parent’s relationship and rejected that faith. She claimed she wanted her son to make his own mind up and was open to whatever religion he wanted to embrace. We invited him to attend one Sunday, following a sleepover, and she insisted on picking him up from our house early that morning to prevent him from attending.

Do you see the pattern? Who is willing to talk about God in the above examples? If one has firmly established faith in Jesus, they’re probably not going to be reluctant to talk about it with someone who has the same beliefs.

I suggest it’s the people who are NOT firmly established in their faith who refuse to discuss God, and that’s what scares me so much. If they aren’t open to discussion about God, where does that leave them? Do they feel like their identity is being challenged, and are in danger of becoming a “bad” person? How they address that challenge if they shut the conversation down immediately?

And what happens to them if they NEVER have those conversations?

My best friend is on the fence, I think. She was raised Catholic, and has some bad church history that drove her and her family away from church. But she’s so very smart and she’ll ask me questions about what I believe. And I’ll listen carefully to what she has to say about her own beliefs. I have hope.

If you are one of the people who refuse to discuss God, I’m begging you to figure out what’s behind your resistance. Don’t let church disappointments, aversion to rules, procrastination, family tradition, or the bad behavior of others get in your way. Wrestle with the question of God and salvation, because it’s an important question to answer.

Eyes up.

2 Peter 3: 3-11

3 This second epistle, beloved, I now write unto you; in both which I stir up your pure minds by way of remembrance:
2 That ye may be mindful of the words which were spoken before by the holy prophets, and of the commandment of us the apostles of the Lord and Saviour:
3 Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts,
4 And saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation.
5 For this they willingly are ignorant of, that by the word of God the heavens were of old, and the earth standing out of the water and in the water:
6 Whereby the world that then was, being overflowed with water, perished:
7 But the heavens and the earth, which are now, by the same word are kept in store, reserved unto fire against the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men.
8 But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.
9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.
11 Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness,